Saturday, June 30, 2012
Day 13
It's a shame that the small moments in life get forgotten. I know it would be a pain, but sometimes I wish I could remember every moment and emotion of my life. Those moments are so important because they are the building blocks of who I am, and no one may ever know about them. I even lose track of them as the present distances itself from the past. I'm sure I'd be ashamed to recall many of my thoughts and actions, but some times I just feel like Tavia is lost, and maybe re-visiting my life would help me remember what has made me who I am today. Life is beautiful in how complex it is, and it often gets over-simplified when we tell it in history. Only the huge events get passed on. I hope in heaven we'll be able to watch entire stories, each one special because it is seen in the context of Jesus and eternity.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Day 12
Well, Tuesday was "conflict day", or maybe better titled, "conflict reconciliation day". As a group we had to acknowledge that there were some tensions developing, and ones that needed to be addressed. We all prayed together and then broke for some individual prayer and contemplation, for the purpose of searching our own hearts and identifying our own insecurities before approaching anyone with theirs. You can read the result of some of my introspection in the previous post. After that time, we gave everyone the freedom to approach people individually (or with a mediator if necessary) in order to talk through any issues. It was a really good, though emotionally exhausting day, and our team came out more unified than it had been before.
The youth leadership camp starts today at 7pm. I think I'm leading worship with Thilini, but I have no idea what we're singing yet. The team has been planning leadership games and team building activities, and Roddy, Hillary and Aaron are leading a session on personalities after dinner tonight (good ol' psych majors). It's going to be crazy having 50 15-24 year olds running around the farm speaking a different language than us. At least they are all Christians, so we have one thing in common! This sort of thing kind of overwhelms me, but luckily we have people like Stephanie on our team who seem to thrive on it.
- Later -
Looks like the camp is actually going to be really fun! the language barrier is difficult, but it just makes you work harder in conversation. It love learning phrases in Sinhala, and sometimes making a fool of myself in the process. I also love the two girls who are staying with us this week, Dilini and Madumali. They are getting really good at translating, and we are quickly becoming friends. My favorite thing that they do is this head bobble that, to them, means "good" or "ok". We do something similar when we say "I don't care" or "I don't know", which sometimes makes things confusing. I also love the way they pronounce English words. The boys have been taking advantage of every opportunity to teach them their favorite phrases such as, "like a boss"... it's pretty funny.
The bugs are probably my biggest discomfort here. For instance, the mosquito that keeps playing hide and go seek around my bed as I write this. I am very grateful for air conditioning... the first room had a fan but no air, and this room has air but no fan. I'm not complaining. Well, we have to get up at 6 tomorrow morning, so it's time for some sleep.
The youth leadership camp starts today at 7pm. I think I'm leading worship with Thilini, but I have no idea what we're singing yet. The team has been planning leadership games and team building activities, and Roddy, Hillary and Aaron are leading a session on personalities after dinner tonight (good ol' psych majors). It's going to be crazy having 50 15-24 year olds running around the farm speaking a different language than us. At least they are all Christians, so we have one thing in common! This sort of thing kind of overwhelms me, but luckily we have people like Stephanie on our team who seem to thrive on it.
- Later -
Looks like the camp is actually going to be really fun! the language barrier is difficult, but it just makes you work harder in conversation. It love learning phrases in Sinhala, and sometimes making a fool of myself in the process. I also love the two girls who are staying with us this week, Dilini and Madumali. They are getting really good at translating, and we are quickly becoming friends. My favorite thing that they do is this head bobble that, to them, means "good" or "ok". We do something similar when we say "I don't care" or "I don't know", which sometimes makes things confusing. I also love the way they pronounce English words. The boys have been taking advantage of every opportunity to teach them their favorite phrases such as, "like a boss"... it's pretty funny.
The bugs are probably my biggest discomfort here. For instance, the mosquito that keeps playing hide and go seek around my bed as I write this. I am very grateful for air conditioning... the first room had a fan but no air, and this room has air but no fan. I'm not complaining. Well, we have to get up at 6 tomorrow morning, so it's time for some sleep.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Day 9
Conflict Day.
I definitely want people to like me. I seem to believe deep down that the opinions of others is what shapes and defines a person. I guess if God didn't exist, I could probably make a pretty good case that that is true. But I also believe that Yahweh is the biggest and truest reality of all, and so, His thoughts and opinions must trump all of the others. If every person that ever existed (including myself) hated me and said I was a disappointment, and yet God accepted me, I would have to believe that His judgment is the true one. All the billions of other judgments would simply be lies from the devil. Any opinion that conflicts with Gods is false, no questions asked. Really, it is simply God against the absence of God. God against Satan and his lies. It's a one on one match that Jesus has already won... and He's on my side. Pretty sweet, if I do say so myself.
Lord, would you be glorified today more than yesterday, and tomorrow more than today. May we be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
I definitely want people to like me. I seem to believe deep down that the opinions of others is what shapes and defines a person. I guess if God didn't exist, I could probably make a pretty good case that that is true. But I also believe that Yahweh is the biggest and truest reality of all, and so, His thoughts and opinions must trump all of the others. If every person that ever existed (including myself) hated me and said I was a disappointment, and yet God accepted me, I would have to believe that His judgment is the true one. All the billions of other judgments would simply be lies from the devil. Any opinion that conflicts with Gods is false, no questions asked. Really, it is simply God against the absence of God. God against Satan and his lies. It's a one on one match that Jesus has already won... and He's on my side. Pretty sweet, if I do say so myself.
Lord, would you be glorified today more than yesterday, and tomorrow more than today. May we be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Day 8
Well yesterday was exhausting, but mostly filled with good things. One thing that stuck with me was this: leaders in the church and in ministry don't spend enough time with the Lord. That is definitely true of me.
We keep joking about how this doesn't feel like a "mission trip". I mean, as far as suffering goes, we haven't done all that much. They have served us way more than we have served them. Their hope is that from this experience in Sri Lanka, our future ministry will be equipped to flourish in a much greater capacity than before we came. They hope that out of these trips, partnerships will be developed - not the kind where one partner provides the funds and another the vision, but the kind where people are shared, and where ministry together is long-term. The kind where visions and goals are ones that span a lifetime, rather than partnership for the purpose of accomplishing a temporary goal.
It is interesting how you can adapt and become accustomed to things like bugs and dirt, and sticky skin. All of those things describe daily life here in Sri Lanka, but because it is normal here, we don't feel the need to complain the way we would in America. I mean, back home, if there were 10 flies in the room as we were eating dinner, no one would be able to concentrate... but here, it's just the way things are. Expectations have a crazy amount of power. They can change your entire experience of life.
We keep joking about how this doesn't feel like a "mission trip". I mean, as far as suffering goes, we haven't done all that much. They have served us way more than we have served them. Their hope is that from this experience in Sri Lanka, our future ministry will be equipped to flourish in a much greater capacity than before we came. They hope that out of these trips, partnerships will be developed - not the kind where one partner provides the funds and another the vision, but the kind where people are shared, and where ministry together is long-term. The kind where visions and goals are ones that span a lifetime, rather than partnership for the purpose of accomplishing a temporary goal.
It is interesting how you can adapt and become accustomed to things like bugs and dirt, and sticky skin. All of those things describe daily life here in Sri Lanka, but because it is normal here, we don't feel the need to complain the way we would in America. I mean, back home, if there were 10 flies in the room as we were eating dinner, no one would be able to concentrate... but here, it's just the way things are. Expectations have a crazy amount of power. They can change your entire experience of life.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Day 6
Today we had our first tropical rain, which was surprisingly cold... and wet. It's probably the first time I've felt cold since being here. For some reason, it was still as unpleasant as if I hadn't been sweating for the last four days straight.
I felt like it was a little easier to relate to the kids today. Not as awkward as I felt yesterday at least. Once you start to realize that neither of you understand the language of the other, you begin to find other was to communicate instead. I hung out with one of the little girls from the widow's home who was really quiet. I couldn't remember her name, but it reminded me of Nemo, so that's what I called her. She wouldn't talk, but eventually, as she was swinging she started humming, and then laughing when she heard me humming along with her. Within the hour she was all smiles and giggles. It was too cute. I snapped this picture to capture the moment.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Day 5
I got eaten by fire ants and ate an entire fish (bones and all) today. The fish was delicious... the fire ants, not so much.
When we first arrived here, my first impression was how much it looked like Haiti. Yet something was different. The atmosphere was not as heavy and the spirit of the place was not as dark. there was not the same hopelessness in the eyes of the people, and the anxiety that I felt in Haiti was not there. Maybe it had to do with the fact that in Haiti, Voodoo is the main religion, whereas in Sri Lanka, it is Buddhism - a much more passive religion. Voodoo is so dark, even demonic, it's crazy. I felt a lot of emotions and memories from Haiti arise on that first bus ride through Colombo, and it was really good to process through them more.
I guess at the beginning of a trip, it's natural to be on the more idealistic side. Yesterday, when Pastor A. was talking to us in his office, I felt like perhaps this is the reason why I haven't had clear direction in my future plans - so that I could be totally open to serving anywhere. Not necessarily in Sri Lanka, but maybe in a place outside of the U.S. Who knows, but it was a fun thought until the fire ants came out.
When we first arrived here, my first impression was how much it looked like Haiti. Yet something was different. The atmosphere was not as heavy and the spirit of the place was not as dark. there was not the same hopelessness in the eyes of the people, and the anxiety that I felt in Haiti was not there. Maybe it had to do with the fact that in Haiti, Voodoo is the main religion, whereas in Sri Lanka, it is Buddhism - a much more passive religion. Voodoo is so dark, even demonic, it's crazy. I felt a lot of emotions and memories from Haiti arise on that first bus ride through Colombo, and it was really good to process through them more.
I guess at the beginning of a trip, it's natural to be on the more idealistic side. Yesterday, when Pastor A. was talking to us in his office, I felt like perhaps this is the reason why I haven't had clear direction in my future plans - so that I could be totally open to serving anywhere. Not necessarily in Sri Lanka, but maybe in a place outside of the U.S. Who knows, but it was a fun thought until the fire ants came out.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Day 4
For some reason, I have this idea that on mission trips you are supposed to be "on" all the time. For instance, I just woke up and was worried that I wouldn't be rested enough to be energized and excited for the day... but I think my motivation for being energized was to impress Thilini's parents (Pastor A. and Auntie Ophelia), my team, and the kids when we meet them later tonight. Interesting. Of course, excitement is good, but not when it's coming from a heart that just wants to impress people.
Last night we stayed at a hotel in Colombo and even went for a swim before getting some sleep! So nice. Now we're headed to Thilini's house for breakfast. After that, to the farm!
Last night we stayed at a hotel in Colombo and even went for a swim before getting some sleep! So nice. Now we're headed to Thilini's house for breakfast. After that, to the farm!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Day 3
Arrived safely into the Colombo airport, and found the humidity (if possible) even thicker than in Haiti. The only really eventful thing that happened during our arrival was that Lindsey found out she had a typo on her visa application, and had to buy a new one before she could get through customs. Trip crisis #1: check.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Day 2
Same plane, same flight. Couldn't sleep all night, but I have a surprising amount of energy. I wonder if I'll be one of the only ones with energy as we get off the plane...
I really can't believe this is it. All that preparation for these moments, starting now. It's so weird how I'm not freaking out. I feel like everything is just going to come as it may, and we will take it in stride. It's all grace... I'm not worried, just at ease. There's a very good chance I won't feel this way for too long, and I'm sure we will all have to take turns carrying each other as we go through the ups and downs of this trip, but God's grace is sufficient for us. It may be harder for me to be weak than to be strong actually... I'm much more comfortable being the one who carries everyone else. Well, 1 hour and 22 minutes to London, and breakfast is served!
- Later -
So I was wrong about me being the only one with a positive attitude and energy. I'm probably one of the more tired and quiet of the bunch now that we've boarded our second flight. I don't even know what time it is anymore, all I know that it is dark, I'm sleepy, and a man is snoring like thunder nearby. This plane is full of Sri Lankans, and it's beginning to hit me that I am entering a whole new world. But Sri Lanka is God's, just as I am God's, and He is constant, no matter what around me changes.
I really can't believe this is it. All that preparation for these moments, starting now. It's so weird how I'm not freaking out. I feel like everything is just going to come as it may, and we will take it in stride. It's all grace... I'm not worried, just at ease. There's a very good chance I won't feel this way for too long, and I'm sure we will all have to take turns carrying each other as we go through the ups and downs of this trip, but God's grace is sufficient for us. It may be harder for me to be weak than to be strong actually... I'm much more comfortable being the one who carries everyone else. Well, 1 hour and 22 minutes to London, and breakfast is served!
- Later -
So I was wrong about me being the only one with a positive attitude and energy. I'm probably one of the more tired and quiet of the bunch now that we've boarded our second flight. I don't even know what time it is anymore, all I know that it is dark, I'm sleepy, and a man is snoring like thunder nearby. This plane is full of Sri Lankans, and it's beginning to hit me that I am entering a whole new world. But Sri Lanka is God's, just as I am God's, and He is constant, no matter what around me changes.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Day 1
We did it.
A few months ago, I'm sure we had doubts about whether or not we would actually make it to this flight, and yet here we are. It's such a cool feeling to have poured so much time, energy, frustration, and anticipation into a trip and then to sit back and watch as it slowly unfolds. Honestly, I don't feel a lot of emotion about the things to come... right now, I'm just focused on our team and on getting us there. Normally I might muse about how that is probably my main defense mechanism firing on all cylinders, but in this case, I think maybe it is a good thing. We are just a bunch of college-aged misfits trying to find our way around the globe, after all. One piece of advice I received about leading mission trip is that, as a leader, my responsibility is first to my team, then to the people we will meet in Sri Lanka, and then to my own experience. I may not always be able to dive head first into the emotions of the moment, and I'll probably have to give up some time with those we are serving in order to take care of my team and enable them to have an effective ministry. And that's ok. I am honored to lead this group.
A few months ago, I'm sure we had doubts about whether or not we would actually make it to this flight, and yet here we are. It's such a cool feeling to have poured so much time, energy, frustration, and anticipation into a trip and then to sit back and watch as it slowly unfolds. Honestly, I don't feel a lot of emotion about the things to come... right now, I'm just focused on our team and on getting us there. Normally I might muse about how that is probably my main defense mechanism firing on all cylinders, but in this case, I think maybe it is a good thing. We are just a bunch of college-aged misfits trying to find our way around the globe, after all. One piece of advice I received about leading mission trip is that, as a leader, my responsibility is first to my team, then to the people we will meet in Sri Lanka, and then to my own experience. I may not always be able to dive head first into the emotions of the moment, and I'll probably have to give up some time with those we are serving in order to take care of my team and enable them to have an effective ministry. And that's ok. I am honored to lead this group.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Sri Lanka 2012... Day 0
Since I won't have internet for the majority of the time in Sri Lanka, I've decided to journal at least a short update every day or two, and then post them here when I get the chance. Hopefully this will give you a glimpse into my mind as I travel through each day, and help me trace some of what God is teaching me during this trip. I'd be honored if you would take this journey with me!
To give you a better picture of where I will be, here is the itinerary and schedule. Enjoy!
June 18-19 Depart from LA, Travel
June 20 Arrive in Colombo, Sri Lanka
June 21-23 Travel to Children's Home (a.k.a. "The Farm")
June 24 KS Church
June 25-July 3 Children's Home
July 4 SCM High School Ministry
July 5 Rest day
July 6-8 Visit church plants
July 9-12 Children's Home
July 13-14 Travel up North
July 15-19 Children's Home
July 20-22 Travel to Tea Country
July 23-24 Children's Home
July 25 Colombo
July 26-27 Trip down South
July 28 Depart from Colombo
To give you a better picture of where I will be, here is the itinerary and schedule. Enjoy!
June 18-19 Depart from LA, Travel
June 20 Arrive in Colombo, Sri Lanka
June 21-23 Travel to Children's Home (a.k.a. "The Farm")
June 24 KS Church
June 25-July 3 Children's Home
July 4 SCM High School Ministry
July 5 Rest day
July 6-8 Visit church plants
July 9-12 Children's Home
July 13-14 Travel up North
July 15-19 Children's Home
July 20-22 Travel to Tea Country
July 23-24 Children's Home
July 25 Colombo
July 26-27 Trip down South
July 28 Depart from Colombo
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